If you've been an AA member awhile you've probably been to meetings that have different formats. Some meetings have open voluntary sharing where people can just chime in and share whenever they want. At other meetings members are called on to share. In still other meetings the sharing format is to go around the room until meeting time is over. Still in other meetings the tradition is to raise hands and wait to be called on - a variation on open voluntary sharing. The same goes for time. Some meetings time shares, others leave that open, still others suggest time limits.
Recently I started my own group with a couple of my sponsees and modeled the format and mission statement after my sponsors group in Los Angeles. My sponsor started a Big Book group that does not allow voluntary sharing at it's meetings - in fact it is part of their group mission statement. In other words when meetings are opened for sharing people cannot just share when the feel like it. Attendees are called on by the meeting leader and then in the last 10 minutes of the meeting there is a lottery drawing allowing for others to share at random.
What are the advantages and disadvantages or voluntary sharing? What about selected sharing where people wait to be called on?
I've found that at some meetings with open or "voluntary" sharing that those groups find they have attendees who always like to share first, last or may enjoy waiting for a few others to share and then make comments on previous shares.
What is best? Open voluntary sharing? Selected sharing?
In the area where I live all meetings except meetings of my group have open voluntary sharing. Time and again some individuals will always try to share last to have the last word. Still others like to share early and then share off topic and talk about things other than how to recover the AA way. One particular individual in some of these open share meetings likes to share about his tennis game and usually shows up 20 minutes late!
Voluntary open sharing can also lead to a slow start. Almost every meeting I go to in my area that has open sharing starts off slow. The leader announces "and now the meeting is open for sharing" and then there is a long pause of silence. For whatever reason people are hesitant to share first. Having selected sharing takes care of this problem. No hesitation to start sharing, people who wish to wait till last.
I think open sharing is fine IF members of the group understand what should ideally be shared and talked about at the meetings. But it seems that these days many AA meetings don't carry the true message of AA. Some meetings are made up of "meeting makers" instead of people who put the steps in their lives and truly carry the message. The program of recovery through working the steps gets lost. Those meetings don't carry the simple message. The AA message is recovery from alcoholism through a spiritual awakening brought about by doing the steps.
In order for my group to keep it's meetings on point we chose to have selected sharing so members attending will hear the true message of AA. We have found a way to somewhat control, if we need to, the message being carried at our meetings. We have a way to limit sharing by those who might talk about things other than recovery the AA way.
I have found that in order for myself and my sponsees to effectively carry the AA message that we need to keep in mind that in our meetings someone may be there that has NEVER been to an AA meeting before in their lives. We want to do our best to accurately and effectively 1) Allow new attendees to identify as alcoholics with existing members. 2) Share how we've recovered from alcoholism through spirituality brought about by doing the 12 steps.
