Friday, August 27, 2021

4th step fear inventory unofficial 3rd column: How was I relying on self?

 We asked ourselves why we had them. (fears) Wasn't it because self reliance failed us? -Big Book

The below questions can help to identify why we have fears by looking at exactly how we may have a relied on self? Or in other words "played God"
  • How did I set the ball rolling? What decisions based on self (my instincts) put me in a position or consequences to be in fear?
  • Had I or have I not asked for help from others or God? If not why?
  • Had I or Have I not discussed something with someone that I should have? 
  • Was or Am I playing God thinking I know what others are thinking?
  • Was or Am I playing God predicting the future? (many of us imagine worse case scenarios concerning our worries)
  • Was I or am I playing God thinking I know what others are doing without direct evidence

Remember, fear lies only in our thinking of what the future may hold for us. Many alcoholics dwell on worries and fear of their well being or not getting what they want in the future. In basic terms it is that a person thinks that they will not be alright sometime in the future or not get what they THINK they need in the future. Sometimes it is fear of missing out. Missing out on satisfying our instincts (self). Missing out on the money I think I need, missing out on the social prestige or friends I think I need, missing out on the sex I think I need. Playing God and thinking we may know what the future holds. We imagine the outcome of any number of situations or future scenarios in our lives. In many cases we are outright wrong and spend a lot of time in fear and worry, convinced the future will include our worst case scenarios and we won't get what we want or be OK when inevitably we are wrong. 

Fear Prayer from the Big Book: We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.