My experience with selfishness and self-centeredness and my alcoholism.

Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. (AA Big Book, pg 62)

This extreme self consciousness, sensitivity to what others think of me is a feature of my alcoholism. At it's core is nothing short of me being very self centered. I believe that is what AA teaches us. Doing the steps relieved me of this self centeredness but didn't completely erase it.. All my character defects stem from this selfishness and self centeredness. Restless, irritable and discontent. To go to a party or socialize with people I had to have something, drinks, drugs etc.. Then "I could come out and play". Today going to a social event is not a daunting task like it used to be. I know how to be as I have learned with Gods help how to not focus on me but focus on others. This comes in the form of asking questions, getting to know people and showing concern for others. What I can bring to the party to contribute, not what I can get. I try not to go all out to impress people with how much I know or dominate the conversation but try to have interest in what other people are doing and what others are saying .. listening! This has been a learned thing for me. Some think being judgemental is an offensive against what I think people might think of me. I am not sure if being judgemental has been my attempt to fight back about what others "might" be thinking of me, it's a good idea to ponder though. God knows I do way to much of it. Just might be!