Thoughts on gratitude.

 
One of the most popular topics I've observed in meetings is gratitude. It seems at almost every other meeting someone is promoting gratitude lists as a solution for one problem or another.  Sometimes I agree, other times I believe it is only a half measure. 

In early recovery I found it very helpful to think about gratitude and focus on what I had rather than what I did not. Later in my recovery I have found it useful also to help me do Gods will. But I must be careful that I not think there are any shortcuts to the program of recovery. "Half measures availed us nothing." Ideas like trying to keep and "attitude of gratitude" and trying to "accept" are good but are not substitutes for the AA program of recovery. Trying to "stay in the now" is a good idea but again it's not really AA. So I must continue to put all the 12 steps in my life if I want to continue to be a recovered alcoholic.


A little about my experience with gratitude.

I remember early on in sobriety my first sponsor had me write a gratitude list. It helped me see things from a positive perspective. All was not lost. I still had quite a bit especially when compared with many others.

Once I was sober a few months and was in on doing the steps I started complaining to him during are weekly meetings and some of our phone calls. I'd tell him I'm not happy with my boss. My car is an hold heap. I don't like my apartment ... blah blah blah.

At one point he had heard enough of me complaining and stopped me in mid sentence. He asked me some simple questions.

Do you have a place to sleep tonight? 
Do you have some food to eat today?
Do you have your health today?
Do you have a job?
Do you have friends and family that will meet with you and talk with you?
By the way, don't you have a car?
By the way don't you have your own apartment?
And lastly ARE YOU SOBER TODAY?

I had answered yes to every question.

He then asked. "WELL HOW BAD IS IT?" "Things weren't always this good were they? No they were not. I was homeless at one point. No job, no money. Sleeping in my car. It was not fun.

All this made too much sense. I sometimes hated Jerry for that. But he was right, my way of looking at my life was sometimes like that of a spoiled child. He always seemed to make sense. But that's why I wanted him to sponsor me in the first place. He was the guy in meetings that made sense. 

After being recovered for 25 plus years I have learned something of gratitude. Besides gratitude lists being valuable to change ones perspective on ones life it also is a way to help me focus on how much I really have going for me. That I am really OK when on somedays my alcoholic mind wants to convince me otherwise.

FINAL THOUGHTS
 
It's one thing to say I'm grateful. Quite another to demonstrate I'm grateful. To SHOW I am grateful is key for me. I believe most Big Book students will agree. AA is all about action. It's not as much a THINKING program as it is a DOING program. God gives me peace. Not me. God gives me contentment not me. By demonstrating I'm grateful and by behaving like a guy that's turned his will and life over to God I get favors of contentment and peace from God. The more I study the program the more I see sentences in the Big Book and 12 and 12 that tell me that is the program.

I have found it's important to also remember gratitude lists are not strictly speaking the AA program. They are valuable - but are not substitutes for doing the AA 12 step program of recovery.