Having been to many thousands of AA meetings over my 26 plus years of sobriety I've heard members announce themselves in a number of different ways.
First simply as an alcoholic.
Secondly, I have introduced myself as a recovered alcoholic now and again. Many of my Big Book enthusiast friends also announce themselves as recovered alcoholics. I usually say (to avoid any confusion) that I am recovered but not cured. I say this because I've been "talked to" by some AA members who confuse the words recovered and cured. They think those words mean the same thing. They think that saying your recovered means your cured. But in the Big Book AA makes a definite distinction between being cured and recovered. Being recovered from an illness does not mean one is necessarily cured. In fact I know I am not cured. I believe that the Big Book says. We are like men who have lost their legs, we never grow new ones. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
Many members will also tell how they have been in
"recovery" X number of years. Or how great "recovery" is and how it
changed their lives. This sounds nice but one does not have to be perpetually in recovery.
Still overs will announce themselves as grateful and "recovering" alcoholics.
Some who I have heard introduce themselves this way have many
years of sobriety. Why? Why do they still consider themselves recovering? Unfortunately, as is the case all over the world, more than likely they have not studied the literature and not seen or understood that they
too can be recovered from alcoholism.
I can understand that new commers or people who have started on but have not yet completed the steps might consider themselves "recovering". But to have 5, 10, 15 or more years sober and consider oneself recovering. Obviously these folks have not heard the good news. AA says one can be recovered after working all 12 steps!
Just as the first 100 alcoholics in the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" recovered so can you!
I question those who have years of sobriety and announce themselves as "recovering". Why are they still recovering after 5, 10, 15, 20 even 30 years sobriety? It doesn't make sense and is not AA. AA says we can be recovered from alcoholism!
Why this misunderstanding of the program, even from people with years of sobriety? The problem is unfortunately, that there is quite a bit of misinformation about the program of AA being talked about in the fellowship of AA. Much of it is brought in from for profit treatment and rehab "centers" and from "recovery" professionals who have been trained in medical perspectives of addiction and alcoholism. My experience is that many if not most of them have never really studied The Big Book or 12 and 12 that closely. Still other ideas leak in from the other fellowships that have different and a bit watered down view about what the 12 step program is and how to do it.
Fortunately there is the program of AA which is free and promises being able to be recovered through continued practice of the 12 steps.
Throughout the Big Book (The book entitled Alcoholics Anonymous) the authors tell how they had recovered. The word recovered in fact occurs many more times than the word recovering throughout the Big Book and 12 and 12.
In my opinion the word is used because of the HOPE that it can promise. There is light at the end of the tunnel! One does not have to be always "recovering". One does not have to be perpetually "in recovery". In fact after giving this some thought it does not make too much sense. If one is 5,10,15 years sober. Why is it that they have NOT recovered? Why are they still recovering if that haven't had a drink in so long? How can their lives NOT have recovered from the illness.
AA certainly DOES NOT PROMISE A CURE BUT IT DOES PROMISE RECOVERY IF THE 12 STEP PATH IS THOROUGHLY FOLLOWED. SUCH A HOPEFUL THING!
A wonderful thing about the 12 step program of AA is, if it is worked thoroughly, brings about recovery from alcoholism!. We can be recovered! In the Forward to the First edition it states just that.
In fact even the first page of the book where we find the title the sub heading states: The story of how many thousands of men and women have RECOVERED from alcoholism.
The word "recovering" only occurs twice. Once in the family afterward and once in a asterisk sub text in the chapter "A Vision for you" regarding Al Anon. That says a lot already.
Here I will list all the places in the book where the word "recovered" occurs.
FORWARDS:
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. And besides, we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all.
... Sixteen years have elapsed between our first printing of this book and the presentation of 1955 of our second edition. In that brief space, Alcoholics Anonymous has mushroomed into nearly 6,000 groups whose membership is far above 150,000 recovered alcoholics. Groups are to be found in each of the United States and all of the provinces of Canada. A.A. has flourishing communities in the British Isles, the Scandinavian countries, South Africa, South America, Mexico, Alaska, Australia and Hawaii. All told, promising beginnings have been made in some 50 foreign countries and U.S. possessions. Some are just now taking shape in Asia. Many of our friends encourage us by saying that this is but a beginning, only the augury of a much larger future ahead.
... Hence the two men set to work almost frantically upon alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital. Their very first case, a desperate one, recovered immediately and became A.A. number three. He never had another drink. This work at Akron continued through the summer of 1935. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first A.A. group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time.
AA The Doctor's Opinion
... In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered.
AA Ch. 2 There Is A Solution
... We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem.
... You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking What do I have to do?"
... Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered. These are followed by three dozen personal experiences.
AA Ch. 4 We Agnostics
... If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
AA Ch. 7 Working with Others
... Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. Don't deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.
... If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that. Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
AA Ch. 8 To Wives
... If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a great deal. If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone. Avoid urging him to follow our program. The seed has been planted in his mind. He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered. But don't remind him of this after he has been drinking, for he may be angry. Sooner or later, you are likely to find him reading the book once more. Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.
AA Ch. 9 The Family Afterward
... So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we bust into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
... Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any dissipation.
AA Ch. 10 To Employers
... After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic run-around -- provided, of course, they are willing to have a third party in the picture. An alcoholic who has recovered, but holds a relatively unimportant job, can talk to a man with a better position. Being on a radically different basis of life, he will never take advantage of the situation.
The word "recovering"
Ch. 9 The Family Afterward
... Our women folk have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering. Perhaps they created the impression that he is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite. All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. This involves a process of deflation. The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his "in-laws," each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family's attitude towards himself or herself. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become. This makes for discord and unhappiness.
AA Ch. 11 A Vision for You
... * Written in 1939, when there were few women in A.A., this chapter assumes that the alcoholic in the home is likely to be the husband. But many of the suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic -- whether she is still drinking or is recovering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.
No comments:
Post a Comment