Quotes from the film "My Name is Bill W."

Here's one of my favorite scenes from the film "My Name is Bill W." James Woods gives a stellar performance as Bill W. A must see for any AA IMHO.

--Bill W. looking out the window, explaining to Lois, why he keeps drinking

I look out the window and watch all the normal people walking by. It's funny I don't think I've ever felt really normal all my life. I feel different somehow, like I don't quite measure up. Ever since I can remember I've had this feeling deep down in my gut -- scared. I see people laughing, at ease with each other. I'm on the outside looking in - afraid that maybe I won't be accepted.

And then overseas I found that a drink, a few drinks makes me feel comfortable, like I always want to feel. It gives me courage to be with people, do things....to dream.

The money, the success, the respect it was all good for awhile, but it never seems enough. I always want doubles of everything, to make me feel alive, worthwhile inside. And then it all began to slip away. I feel cheated, angry, always so full of fear, so I drink, more and it makes it ok for awhile. I convince myself that things will turn around tomorrow, soon, that I'll make it all up to you. But it only gets worse. I keep promising you, others, myself, I'm going on the wagon and I think I mean it. But the guilt and the depression, I can't look in the mirror or at you. Especially you. I've stopped believing in everything, people, God, myself.
I know it sounds insane Lois, but in spite of all this, what I want more than anything else, is another drink.