My experience and understanding of Step 1

In the AA Book the instruction for taking the 1st step can be found on the first page of the chapter "More about alcoholism."

Here is the instruction and what they found they needed to do:

"We learned we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery."

Many assume that the summary of step 1 found on the list of the 12 steps gives the instruction for taking the step. It does - to a point. But if one does not read all of the Big Book from the Doctors Opinion through to the end of the chapter "More about Alcoholism"  then a thorough knowledge of what AA says alcoholism isn't gained. If one does not thoroughly understand what AA says alcoholism is it will be difficult to fully conceded one has the condition. If somebody doesn't understand that the condition of alcoholism as AA describes it is an allergy of the body coupled with a mental obsession they may not understand how dangerous a condition they might have and fail to be motivated to carry out all the 12 steps.

  I hear people in some meetings make the mistake of dwelling on unmanageability and how their lives were unmanageable. This sometimes happens when only looking at the summary of step 1 "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable" This is not the instruction for taking step l.

This is a mistake in that the point is missed about how truly hopeless the condition of alcoholism is. "The Doctors Opinion" through to the end of "More About Alcoholism"  make clear that they see alcoholism as a two fold disease of mind and body. An allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. Alcoholism is a dangerous condition and AA say's it's hopeless and chronic.

The 1st step instruction again is:
"We learned we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholic.

So to take the first step is simple. It is just conceding (or admitting) to myself through and through that I have alcoholism. Or fully conceding to my innermost self that I have alcoholism - as alcoholism it is described in the Big Book. Anybody with this hopeless condition usually has an unmanageable life. What alcoholic truly in the cups of alcoholism has a manageable life? Any alcoholic who has tried on their own know they also cannot manage their drinking by themselves.

So, again, how can anyone fully admit that they have a condition unless they understand it? In the beginning I certainly understood how much trouble my drinking caused me, but that is not the same as understanding that I have the condition (or illness) called alcoholism. ( I don't call it a disease here because in the Big Book it is not called a disease)

What I have learned by studying the book is about the first 3rd of the first 164 pages talks about alcoholism as an allergy of the body coupled with a mental obsession of the mind.

I have this same problem and this is how it works:

1) when I drink I cannot control the amount I take. (this is the allergy of the body part of alcoholism which produces a craving once I start to drink)

2) Once my drinking became a problem and I tried to completely abstain, I found I could not do it for very long; at most about 6 months and during those dry months I really suffered from alcoholism. When dry, my untreated alcoholism had symptoms like anxiety, depression, restlessness, irritability, discontentment and fear. If something happened during that time that was too much to take what would I do? I'd go back to what I know gives me the instant comfort -- drinking (and drugs). (This is the mental obsession part of alcoholism and how it works in me)

I found that through doing the 12 steps and thus, seeking a Higher Power, I got freedom and was saved from this problem of body and mind that the Big Book says is alcoholism.

Over 26 years and counting, my life has never been better. I've retired early, don't want for anything. I have a lot of time to help new alcoholics which is one of the most rewarding things I do with my life.