Saturday, October 25, 2014

Getting rid of self. Is it ever entirely possible to rid ourselves of self?

This has been a question that's come up for me from time to time. Can I ever entirely "rid" myself of self? The books says there often "seems" no way of entirely getting rid of self without his aid. Are they implying that I could be entirely rid of self? 

In my opinion, (and let me stress this is my personal opinion), defects of character are never really fully removed as they come from self (or ego) and self is part of what makes me human. I have found that it is in striving toward selflessness that connection with a higher power is found. Minimizing the manifestation of character defects (with help from a God) toward selflessness is the best I can hope for. It is in striving to align my will (self) with the will of a good and kind Higher Power that I receive some peace, serenity and relief from the hopeless state of mind and body called Alcoholism.


The Big Book:

"So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid."


I don't think that they are implying that we can entirely be rid of self, but they are saying that God has the power and if anyone could entirely rid us of self God could.

Please chime in with your opinions or views. Curious as to what other AA's think about being rid of self. Cheers from Bring the Hope!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Alcoholics Anonymous Explained. A brief explanation of how the program of AA works.


This is a summary of how the program of AA works. Please note that the AA program and the AA fellowship are two different things. AA meetings are a fellowship of people. A combination of those "on the program of AA" who share their experience of  applying it to their lives to those still suffering alcoholics seeking help. The program of AA is the 12 step practical program of action found within the first 164 pages of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. The fellowship of AA was originally a forum for sharing, teaching and discussion of the program. The fellowship ideally carries the message of recovery through practice, discussion and teaching of the program - members sharing their experience, strength and hope of the program with other members. While attendance of the fellowship is widely regarded as part of practicing the program it should not be mistaken for the program itself.


Description and history of the AA fellowship is beyond the scope of this essay. More information can be found at http://aa.org


The program of AA explained:

The problem: Alcoholism - a illness that has two parts. An allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. AA states “alcoholics are powerless over alcohol”. “We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to CONTROL our drinking”. (Page 30 Alcoholics Anonymous)

a) Allergy of the body - also described as a physical allergy to alcohol.
A person with alcoholism lacks the ability to control the amount they take once they start drinking. A physical craving develops after one or two drinks which overwhelms even a strong desire to moderate or stop and they keep on drinking. This craving happens only in people with alcoholism and is an abnormal reaction to alcohol. The medical explanation of this is that an alcoholics body metabolizes alcohol "improperly" and slightly different than a non-alcoholic. This difference sets up a craving in alcoholics AFTER they start to drink. This is why AA's benefactor Dr. W. D. Silkworth describes it is an allergy. Alcoholics have an abnormal reaction (same as an allergy) to alcohol. When non-alcoholics drink their reaction is normal, they enjoy one or two drinks and nothing bad happens. When real alcoholics have even a couple of drinks they can’t help but to continue drinking. They are compelled to keep drinking by a physical craving which is an abnormal reaction to alcohol. Alcoholics are allergic to alcohol in much the same way a person may be allergic to peanuts, but instead of  developing a rash they develop this physical craving to keep drinking. This is described as the "phenomenon of craving" (Doctors opinion chapter in the AA book)

b) Obsession of the mind - also described as a mental obsession.
Even when sincerely wanting to, a *real alcoholic will find he or she cannot quit entirely. They lack the ability using will power. Real alcoholics cannot abstain from alcohol for any lasting and contented period of time even when honestly wanting to. Alcoholics have an alcoholic mind which dooms them to make the mistake of the first drink over and over again. When sincerely not wanting to drink, they might stop and be able to stay sober for awhile, but eventually go back to it with the same undesired consequences.

To summarize about alcoholics. They are:
a) Powerless to control how much they drink once they start. (this is the Physical Allergy)
b) Powerless to quit drinking entirely even when honestly wanting to. (this is the Mental Obsession)

A person with alcoholism is powerless to “fix” or relieve the problem themselves. They find they cannot completely abstain even though many are certain they must. Many alcoholics tell themselves over and over things like ”This time it's for good” or “I'm never going back to it” Only to return days, weeks or months later with the same or more pain and suffering. AA says: “They’ve lost the power of choice in drink” (AA Big Book page 24) Real Alcoholics have no control over how much they take once they start. First their alcoholic mind “tricks” or “fools” them into taking the first drink or they suffer so much from the symptons* of untreated alcoholism that they return to the only solution they know, alcohol. Then after that first drink they drink to inebriation due to the physical allergy. (see The Dr.s Opinion and More About Alcoholism in the AA Big Book Chap 3. for an in depth explanation and examples)

*Symptoms of untreated alcoholism can be depression, anxiety, worry, remorse, resentment, anger etc.

"They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity". The Doctors Opinion Alcoholics Anonymous

The Solution:
AA was given their solution to alcoholism by the late great psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung
Jung had studied alcoholics who had recovered by what he called a “spiritual experience”. This spiritual experience, also called a spiritual awakening by AA, is a connection with a Higher Power (or God, Universal Mind, Power Greater) strong enough to give lasting relief from alcoholism. This relief is in the form of permanent abstinence from alcohol. Alcoholics return to sanity where before they repeated, over and over, the insane mistake of the first drink. AA says “we have not even sworn off. Instead the problem has been removed”. (pg. 85 Alcoholics Anonymous) This happens through power from a "God" of ones own understanding. Where alcoholics had been powerless over alcohol they find power from a God of their own understanding which allows them to think sanely concerning alcohol and thus abstain.

Note: AA does not affiliate with any religion. Is not a Christian, Buddist, Muslim, Hindu or other religious movement. AA is simply a spiritual program urging people looking for recovery to seek a "Power Greater" than oneself.

What to do – The 12 steps. A practical program of action for recovery:
Now that we know AA’s solution is a spiritual awakening the question becomes - How would an alcoholic seeking recovery get one?

AA borrowed spiritual ideas from a movement called the Oxford group. The Oxford group was an early 20th century non-denominational religious movement started by Lutheran Minister Frank N. D. Buchman. These ideas were borrowed to create what we now know as the Twelve Steps. By taking the 12 steps a person can get the desired spiritual awakening thus receiving relief and recovery from alcoholism. That relief and recovery is in the form of continued and permanent abstinence from alcohol and a useful, whole and contented life.

Note:
Alcoholics Anonymous does not offer a cure for alcoholism. What AA does offer is lasting abstinence from alcohol and a design for living through contact with a Higher Power. The Twelve Steps are a set of directions which when followed result in a spiritual awakening giving permanent and lasting recovery from alcoholism. Alcoholics on the program become recovered from alcoholism.

* The term real alcoholics is used through out the book Alcoholics Anonymous. This term is used to make the distinction between alcoholics and heavy drinkers. Heavy drinkers have the ability to stop or moderate on their own willpower. Real alcoholics lack the willpower to quit entirely even when honestly wanting to.

The AA 12 steps
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and be came willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying
only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Alcoholics Anonymous Book excerpts used under AA fair use policy
all other text (c) 2013 Bring Thehope

Sunday, June 30, 2013

AA is not a selfish program. It is a selfless program.

       If you go to enough meetings and know the Big Book of AA you'll find there is quite a lot of mis-information going around in the fellowship. One example is the idea that AA is a selfish program. This could not be farther from the truth.  First of all let's make sure we understand what the AA program actually is. It's read at every meeting but in my experience few of us really understand it. "Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery" So the AA program is the 12 steps, nothing less, nothing more. So,  saying that AA is a selfish program is just plain wrong.  Neither the AA program (the 12 steps) or the AA fellowship are selfish. The AA fellowship is an altruistic movement - people helping people. And the 12 steps (our program) are a set of instructions which when followed allows the sufferer to have a normal life through recovery from alcoholism. Following the 12 steps changes a person and steers them away from selfishness toward selflessness - more concern for others. This is the essence of AA spirituality and this is what brings about a relationship strong enough with a God of ones own understanding that gives recovery from alcoholism.

If you ask people who share this "party line" of AA being a selfish program you'll get many opinions as to what the phrase actually means. It's nothing more than another source of confusion; especially for newcomers. It's a shame but I believe there are too many people in the fellowship sharing everything under the sun except how to recover from alcoholism by practicing the 12 steps. Anything I say in meeting shouldn't have to have too much further explanation. Those that share this idea that AA is a selfish program may find they have to explain it quite a bit more if an inquisitive newcomer gets up enough courage to ask. Underneath this phrase lies a world of different opinions as to it's meaning.  Some will say that it means those looking for recovery ought to put it first above everything. That idea is great and absolutely the AA program so why not just say that instead?

       Misleading catch phrases, ideas and information that do not line up with the program are an unfortunate occurrence in today's fellowship. Catch phrases and party lines spread like gossip because they "sound good" and are catchy, but sometimes wind up contradicting the true program of AA entirely. Those of us who have studied the book conclude the opposite. That AA is a SELFLESS program. We are to try to rid ourselves of self centeredness and selfishness through a relationship with a Higher Power if we are to recover.

      The word selfish occurs 13 times in the AA text. In all cases it is looked on as a NEGATIVE feature of character. Here are examples. The idea that AA is a selfish program is not once found in the text. It is a dangerous AA fellowship party line that I suspect is doing more harm than good. Here are some examples.

... selfishness.   BB How It Works, p.62  
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness

 1.  He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish.


2.
... selfish and dishonest.   BB How It Works, p.61  
On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest.


3.
... selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ...   BB Bill's Story, p.7  
Best of all, I met a kind doctor who explained that though certainly selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally.


4.
Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the ...   BB Into Action, p.82  
Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil.


5.
... selfish, dishonest or afraid?   BB Into Action, p.86  
Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?


6.
... selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?   BB How It Works, p.69  
Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?


7.
... selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?   BB How It Works, p.67  
Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?


8.
... selfish ends.   BB Into Action, p.87  
We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends.


9.
... selfish of water or bread.   12&12 Tradition One, p.131  
None might become selfish of water or bread.


10.
... selfish or not?   BB How It Works, p.69  
We subjected each relation to this test -- was it selfish or not?


11.
... selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage ...   12&12 Step Four, p.50  
When, and how, and in just what instances did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other people and me?


12.
... selfish things and gain interest in our ...   BB Into Action, p.84  
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.


13.
... selfish, we may excite jealousy, misery, and ...   12&12 Step Eight, p.80  
If our sex conduct is selfish, we may excite jealousy, misery, and a strong desire to retaliate in kind.

AA excerpts used according to AA fair use policy.
All other text (c) 2011 Bring Thehope

Monday, March 26, 2012

AA Morning Meditation Big Book pages 86,87 and 88 explained. Step 11


Part 2. Morning Prayer and Meditation


Given we know that the AA program is contained in the first 164 pages of the Big Book ( with further good information in the step essays of the 12 steps and 12 traditions book ) let's now follow the 2nd half of the prayer and meditation instructions found on pages 86, 87 and 88 of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous"

Big Book Pg 86:

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

The Big Book authors (the first 100 alcoholics) tell us that each morning they consider their plans for the day. Before doing so they say a prayer and ask God to direct their thinking. A morning meditation makes a lot of sense for people trying to live a spiritual life. A very simple and practical way to start each day for people seeking and developing a conscience contact with a Higher Power. In the ABC's we read at each meeting it says (b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (c) That God could and would if he were sought. So the morning meditation is a daily exercise to seek God's guidance and advice for the day. In doing this we continue to "work" the program and practice spirituality throughout the day.

Let's break it down and see what we should do. As always with the Big Book, if they do it, we should do it. They say that they "consider their plans for the day" and before they begin they say a prayer. So that’s what we will do - say a prayer and then consider our plans for the day.

Let's take it right out of the book and say the same prayer they do.

God, I humbly ask you to direct my thinking. Please divorce my thinking from self pity, dishonest and self seeking motives.

A simple prayer isn't it? That's all they say they do. It's not complex at all. AA is a simple and practical program. Wonderful news for those of us who consider ourselves "complex" people.

Now having asked God to set our minds to good direction let's do what they do next.

2) We now think about our day and plans for it: (consider our plans for the day)

Since we are considering our plans for the day what I like to do is to make a mental or written "to do" list. I think about what I am going to do today and write a list. It's up to you, you can think about it or write it down, as long as you are "considering your day".

Many of us have jobs and work. I find that for work days a reminder that I should be "part of the team" and a worker among workers is a good idea. Things like "I'm going to talk low and act courteously" are great. I'm going to try and be kind toward all. (You might notice this is from the evening meditation). What we want to do is set our selves to try and do Gods will - not ours for the day.

What ever we do we want it to be with good motives. My opinion is that a loving Higher Power wants me to try to be friendly, kind, patient and tolerant. The God I've gotten to know does not want me to be greedy, selfish or dishonest. I have found that the God I know is love and kindness. The books says "love and tolerance of others is our code". (last paragraph pg 84) so I need to try and "live the code".

Something I have been doing lately (on advice from my sponsor) is to try to think about who I might be dealing with or talking to that day. I try to contemplate how I will be with that person. I think about the kind of attitude God would want me to have when talking with that person. For instance, I usually have sponsee's to talk to. I try to remind myself to be patient and tolerant and "put myself in their shoes" during the conversation. If it's someone I am doing business with I try to remember to listen more than talk. If I am going to an AA meeting I remind myself to be just a "member among members" and go in the spirit of service to others. I will try to picture in my minds eye the meeting with the person or persons for that day and the best way to be with them in Gods world. He is the director, I am the actor and I need to act as he would have me act. I need to try my best to live like God wants me to -  selfless, tolerant, patient and of service to others. In this way I can be assured I am doing his will, not mine.

Let's have a look at what the book says next.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

This portion of the meditation exercise is advice for alcoholics who might have indecision about what to do with their day.

Many of us may have a lot going on in our minds in the morning. We may have the habit of getting out of bed and drinking some strong coffee to get the wheels turning in our heads. Many alcoholics tend to think too much and can't decide what to do with a day when first trying this exercise. Some of us might not have jobs in early sobriety, are retired, or lucky enough to be rich with a lot of time on our hands. AA also has directions for life situations like these! Pretty cool huh? I think they knew the kind of people they were writing for. They don't leave too much to guess about.

Let's find out what the book says to do if we feel "indecision" - the feeling of not knowing what to do about something or having too much free time and not knowing what to do with it. By now we probably have a pretty good idea what AA might suggest to do about these kinds of problems . Again, it simply says we go to God for the answers. How do we do this? Well prayer again of course!

The big book states it:
Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision.

So we make a prayer. Something like the example below is fine. You can use this one or make up your own, just as long as the general idea is there. Your God will know what your talking about right? It could be something about a specific problem your having. An issue with someone or just a general feeling of doubt about what to do today. Any kind of stressful indecision or bad feelings that come up, just pray for help.

Prayer example
"God I don't know what to do today. I don't how to handle (xxxxx) Please calm my busy thinking, please help me decide what I should do today. Please give me your inspiration. I know I should not be running my life (third step idea here), please show me the way"

With practice, many AA's devoted to the program in the book find that they get some God ideas and feel focused right after prayer like this. It works, it really does, with daily effort on our part. This idea is stated in the next paragraph.

We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspira­tion gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made con­scious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of in­spiration. We come to rely upon it.

The big book authors are telling us that with practice and repeating the exercise our thinking with be more on the "plane of inspiration" or more aligned with Gods will. We get advice here to watch out that we don't think our ideas are actually Gods. A good way to check is to just ask yourself this. Is the thought I just had good, kind or loving? Is this idea I have the kind of thing a loving Higher Power might suggest? You might think God told you to stand up and confront or even fight with someone, making some kind of trouble, revenge, retribution or the like. Let your conscience be your guide. We all know what is good in our hearts. A kind and loving God (in my opinion) doesn't want me fighting and confronting others. You can also ask yourself. " Am I trying to get "MY WAY" again or am I letting the chips fall as they may and surrendering the situation to God? With practice we start seeing where our thinking ends and Gods thinking begins. Gods thinking seems to always be for goodness, kindness, tolerance and getting along with all. Live and Let Live. Trying to be a kind, tolerant, patient and understanding person is the essence of AA spirituality.

Next we close out the exercise. Let's go back to the Big Book and see what it says they do. Again, if they do it we should do it to if we are to "thoroughly follow their path"

We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.  

The next thing the big book authors say they do is "conclude the period of meditation with a prayer" What is the prayer? Well it is right here in the paragraph above. We can just re-word it for us. This is how I like to re-word it.

God, please show me all through the day what my next step should be. Please give me whatever I need to take care of not knowing what to do next. Please I humbly ask you to give me freedom from self will. 

Again, I am just using the info from the big book and doing what they do. Also we can include and say other prayers. I like to say the 11 step prayer from the 12 and 12. It is a beautiful prayer. Prayers of your choice are a really good idea too. Any kind of prayer that does not have selfish ends is a good prayer.  Let's look at what it says next.


We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.

In this paragraph we read that the authors pray for freedom from self will ( like my prayer above) and then they give us some advice about how to pray again. They say they never pray for things for themselves EXCEPT if it might help others. Pretty cool right? We can pray for things for us if they will assist in helping others. Now watch out, we have to be careful with that. For example I'm fairly sure they don’t mean we can pray for things like fast expensive cars because we think it will impress people in AA and they will "want what we have". I think what they mean is we can, for example, pray for work if we don't have it. If we have good work then we can live well and have time to to be of service to others. Things like that are OK because they enable us to have time to be of service to other AA's

The next portion until the end of the chapter is all instruction and advice.

 If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not mem­bers of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. 

Finally we get some instruction about how to pray throughout the day. Great stuff as we are trying to practice the AA way of life - a spiritual way of life.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.’’ 

So as they suggest, what we do is to pause at any time during the day when we find ourselves angry or doubtful about a situation and ask for the right thought or action. "Ask what" you might be thinking. Ask who? Well God or Higher Power of course. Again it is back to prayer and asking God for help. We try to remind ourselves through a simple prayer said many times all through the day we should try to do Gods will not ours. This is practice of the 3rd step which through earlier study we know is continual life effort. So throughout each day, if we try to "turn it over" by asking for help and willingness to do Gods will, we are truly putting the practical program of AA into our lives.

What I do is try to remember to say this prayer every hour or so, more if I'm having a tough day at work or issues with family etc.. "Thy will, not mine, be done." Some days are better than others. Progress not perfection right? None of us are spiritual giants. We just try the best we can.

Finally the big book authors give us some promises that we can get if we do all the things THEY DO outlined on pages 86,87 and 88. 


We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. It works—it really does. We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.’’ The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve

For the morning meditation quick guide click here


 For AA meetings online please visit:

https://www.aathailand.info


All text except AA Book excerpts (C) 2014 Bring Thehope
AA excerpts used according to AA Fair Use Policy

page 86 big book   aa big book page 86   page 85 to 88 page 86 88 big book pg 84-88 big book

Monday, February 13, 2012

AA's Evening Meditation pages 86,87 and 88 explained - Step 11

Morning and Evening Meditation - Step 11
From page 86,87 and 88 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.


Part 1. Evening Meditation

    Big Book page 86:

    The first paragraph on page 86 gives direct instructions about what to do each evening before bed. This is the 1st part of the 11th step. Here we will break down the paragraph and make clear what the Big Book authors tell us they do.

    Let's look at the first portion of the paragraph.

    Big Book:
    When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

    The big book authors state "when we retire at night we constructively review our day". They tell us this is what they do at night. If we are also going to follow the program then we should do what they do. So each evening before bed, we review our day and ask ourselves these questions, one at a time, pausing and giving each some thought.

    Take a few minutes on each one and search out your memories of the day.

    Was I resentful? 

    Was I selfish?

    Was I dishonest?

    Was I afraid?

    Do I owe an apology? 

    Have I kept something to my self that should have been discussed with another person at once?

    Was I kind and loving toward all? 

    What could I have done better? 

    Was I thinking of myself most of the time or was I thinking of what I could do for others, of what I could pack into the stream of life?

    After asking yourself these questions you now have a "days review". A review is like an inventory isn't it? How about that! So what you've just done is a single days inventory and hopefully caught any faults, defects of character or short comings that may have come up. We try our best to practice the 10th step during the day and "when we are wrong promptly admit it" but, of course, we are all human and some days make mistakes and slip up on applying the principals in all our affairs and not promptly admit it when we fall short.  The 11th step evening review is the catch all at the end of the day. Through doing this portion of the 11step we take a final look at where we might have fallen short spiritually. So now you may be asking yourself; now that I have this days review what do I do about it? Well that's just what the Big Book authors tell us after these words of advice.


    But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.

    This portion of the paragraph is advice. Let's take a closer look at what this sentence is saying to us.

    For people that may be prone to depression, self loathing, low self esteem etc. They should be careful to remember none of us is perfect. If you feel like this give yourself a break and keep in mind that with an attitude of worry, remorse, depression or self loathing it is difficult to be helpful or useful to other people. The book  says. "for that would diminish our usefulness to others". The definition of diminish is "lessen" or "make less". Helping others is what the Big Book plainly says is our purpose. " To be of maximum service to God and those about us." It is in this move toward "selflessness" that we seek and know God better and continue to grow our spiritual condition. After all, we are attempting to maintain and grow our spirituality and continue our spiritual experience (Appendix II in the AA Big Book) which gives us relief from our illness each day. (We have a daily reprieve based on being spiritually fit)

    Now after the words of advice we find out what to do with our days review.

    Big Book:
    After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

    Let's look at this sentence. First it simply says that after our review "we ask for Gods forgiveness" So we should just make a prayer asking for forgiveness. I believe it doesn't need to be complicated, God knows our intention. Here's what I usually say.

    Prayer: God please forgive me for my mistakes today, please help me to do better.

    The next sentence states "and inquire what corrective measures should be taken".
    Here we are asked to make another prayer. I say a prayer like this.

    God please show me what to do to avoid these mistakes in the future. I seek your inspiration. Thy will not mine be done.

    Now, let's think about this a minute. The Big Book authors say that they "inquire". Inquire is the same as asking right? So we simply just ask God "what corrective measures should be taken".
    How about that? The Big Book authors suggest we ought to ask God what we should do to correct our mistakes. Doesn't that imply that we might get an answer? Yes it does! So what do we do to get an answer? Here is where the meditation comes in.

    After making the prayer for forgiveness and asking God how to do better, try to relax and stay silent for 10 or 15 minutes. Longer if you feel you have the discipline. Calm your mind and relax to see if you get some kind of answer. This takes practice but many times we find that we get some ideas that aren't our own. Some AA's say they "hear a voice speak" in their minds. You may find you get some ideas which you could honestly say you think didn't come from you, these quite possibly are God inspired. This is what we are looking for. If the ideas are truly good they are probably from God. Use them, try to incorporate them into the next day.


    Some God "idea" examples from my own meditation experience:

    I should relax at work, I take things too seriously and get into fights with co workers because of it. I should try to "Live and let live".

    I should call my sponsor more often and be as truthful as possible.

    I've been neglecting my family, I should make more time for them. Make a few more phone calls to my brothers and sisters.

    I should go to more meetings, not for me, but to help the newcommers.

    I need to try to be a kinder person each day. I've been too pushy and crass with even the cashier at the market.

    I need to cool down behind the wheel and not drive so aggressively. It's messing with my serenity

    I should pray more throughout the day.

    I need to try and focus on being a part of the team at work, rather than trying to go around showing everyone how to do their jobs.

    I need to work the steps again with a good sponsor who knows the book.

    This completes part 1 of the daily meditation. AA Big Book authors also give us instructions about what to do each morning. This will be covered in part 2 here.
     http://neweraspiritual.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html

    For free recovery meetings and chat online please visit:

    http://www.12step-meetings-online.com



    Alcoholics Anonymous excerpts included under AA fair use policy.
    (c) 2013 Bring Thehope

    Friday, March 11, 2011

    A common solution. AA program from the first 164 page of the Big Book.

    After 21 years of sobriety and about 14 devoted to the program in the book I have found out a simple fact. That there is one program, one common solution (bottom of page 17).

    AA fellowship is actually not nearly as effective as it once was. Having been to many thousands of meetings over the years and continuing to attend, it is all too obvious that the message from our basic text, the book Alcoholics Anonymous, is being lost. Unfortunately the message heard these days in many meetings and groups is quite a lot different than the one that was heard in the early days. So much extra and inaccurate information is flooding the fellowship that new, real alcoholics rarely get to hear the simple message of the program found in the book. Many of these non AA ideas come from treatment centers and many are party lines that somehow got started in the fellowship over the years. Many of these one liners go against some of the fundamental ideas found in the Big Book. For instance: "we just don't drink no matter what" and "It's a selfish program" or "I just choose not to drink today".  These are contradictory to the program and don't help real alcoholics recover.

    AA says that real alcoholics cannot control their drinking. That was my experience. I lost control. If I could control it I would not need a program. Any idea or advice that urges self control or using ones own mind to fight the illness is really not AA. AA's say they have lost choice and will power is gone concerning booze.

    For newcomers there are some good tips for not drinking found in the  "Living Sober" book, but this book explicitly starts by stating it does not contain a program of recovery, it simply gives tips for not drinking; hopefully while the alcoholics is doing the steps from the AA book.

    The program is simple, but you'll rarely hear it summarized like this. Here it is in a few bullet points.

    1)The authors of the Big Book, who considered themselves hopeless chronic alcoholics, found they were powerless to sustain abstinence themselves. They could not quit for good and all on their own will power. Nor could they quit using the power of other people. Will power was lost for them.  They lost the choice in drink. No matter what they'd drink again even after honestly trying to stop (see more about alcoholism in the AA book) No doctor or any other human being could help them stop entirely. (probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism) From the ABC's at the beginning of chapter 5.

    2)Dr. Carl Yung found that once in awhile a hopeless/chronic alcoholic would “miraculously” recover and stay sober through a "pyschic change", "spiritual awakening" or a "connection with a Higher Power". He saw these happenings as a phenomenon. A kind of freak occurrence for one out of many hundreds of hopeless drunks.
     So AA's solution is just that. Achieve a spiritual awakening and build a relationship with a Higher Power to recover from the illness. (Bill W. never chose to use the word disease)

    3)From the Oxford groups it was found that following a set of instructions (the tenets they were called at that time) could bring about this needed psychic change or “spiritual awakening”. An alcoholic could do these things ( follow the directions) and achieve this “miracle” or "gift" of sustained abstinence and serenity from a Higher Power. 

    Bill W. of course got the basic idea for the steps from the tenets of the Oxford groups and thus the 12 steps were born;  a way out from alcoholism. Bill W. borrowed the ideas of the tenets and "customized" them into the 12 steps. The concepts of the steps were not purely original. Bill W. got them from the Oxford group tenets.

    That's it in a nutshell, and all this can be found within the first 164 pages of the AA book. Anything else that doesn’t reconcile with the literature is not the program of AA. Keep it simple and we can be free of alcoholism and live happy, joyous and free.

    Thanks for reading and please leave feedback or comments. Questions are welcome!
    It's  a way for me to do "cyber" sponsoring or help non-alcoholics better understand AA.

    Wednesday, February 2, 2011

    Trying to fight the disease yourself? Can it be done? I found out no.

    I wish I could have put my mind to it and just “kept up my guard” to obtain freedom from the disease and the permanent sobriety I now have, (17 years) but I could not. My experience was that those intervals of trying to exercise my will power to combat the disease always failed. I could achieve a month, 2 weeks, 45 days, even 6 months once. But ultimately I drank again. Why? Because I have alcoholism and I found it’s very nature is the sufferers inability to “keep his guard up” and use his own mind to combat the disease. I found I was “powerless” in my ability to choose. I had become alcoholic and could no longer safely use alcohol and control my use of it. Yes I could use my will power and keep my guard up for awhile, but those intervals were always short lived and what I did build up in terms of health, finance and romance was almost always lost.

    If you find you cannot control your drinking and drink again, there is a way out I personally know to work. Not only have a I kept sober for 17 years but I have a new life, a new way of living. I no longer have to shield myself from booze, be careful about where I go or who I see. I haven’t had to keep my guard up for quite a long while. How? The spiritual program of AA.

    Sunday, January 2, 2011

    The 7 deadly Sins on Wikipedia

    Historical and modern definitions of the deadly sins

    Lust

    Lust or lechery (carnal "luxuria") is usually thought of as excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Aristotle's criterion was excessive love of others, which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary[citation needed]. In Dante's Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts and feelings. In Dante's "Inferno", unforgiven souls of the sin of lust are blown about in restless hurricane-like winds symbolic of their own lack of self control to their lustful passions in earthly life.

    Extravagance

    Extravagance (Latin, luxuria) is unrestrained excess. Extravagant behaviour includes the frequent purchase of luxury goods and forms of debauchery.
    In the Romance languages, the cognates of luxuria (the Latin name of the sin) evolved to have an exclusively sexual meaning; the Old French cognate was adopted into English as luxury, but this lost its sexual meaning by the 14th century.[9]

    Gluttony


    "Excess"
    (Albert Anker, 1896)
    Derived from the Latin gluttire, meaning to gulp down or swallow, gluttony (Latin, gula) is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste. In the Christian religions, it is considered a sin because of the excessive desire for food or its withholding from the needy.[10]
    Depending on the culture, it can be seen as either a vice or a sign of status. Where food is relatively scarce, being able to eat well might be something to take pride in. But in an area where food is routinely plentiful, it may be considered a sign of self-control to resist the temptation to over-indulge.
    Medieval church leaders (e.g., Thomas Aquinas) took a more expansive view of gluttony,[10] arguing that it could also include an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods.[11] Aquinas went so far as to prepare a list of six ways to commit gluttony, including:
    • Praepropere - eating too soon.
    • Laute - eating too expensively.
    • Nimis - eating too much.
    • Ardenter - eating too eagerly (burningly).
    • Studiose - eating too daintily (keenly).
    • Forente - eating wildly (boringly).

    Greed

    Main article: Greed (sin)

    1909 painting The Worship of Mammon by Evelyn De Morgan.
    Greed (Latin, avaritia), also known as avarice or covetousness, is, like lust and gluttony, a sin of excess. However, greed (as seen by the church) is applied to a very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power. St. Thomas Aquinas wrote that greed was "a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts. "Avarice" is more of a blanket term that can describe many other examples of greedy behavior. These include disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason,[citation needed] especially for personal gain, for example through bribery . Scavenging[citation needed] and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed. Such misdeeds can include simony, where one profits from soliciting goods within the actual confines of a church.
    As defined outside of Christian writings, greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.[12]

    Sloth

    Over time, the "acedia" in Pope Gregory's order has come to be closer in meaning to sloth (Latin, Socordia). The focus came to be on the consequences of acedia rather than the cause, and so, by the 17th century, the exact deadly sin referred to was believed to be the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts.[citation needed] Even in Dante's time there were signs of this change; in his Purgatorio he had portrayed the penance for acedia as running continuously at top speed.
    The modern view goes further, regarding laziness and indifference as the sin at the heart of the matter. Since this contrasts with a more willful failure to, for example, love God and his works, sloth is often seen as being considerably less serious than the other sins, more a sin of omission than of commission.

    Acedia

    Acedia (Latin, acedia) (from Greek ακηδία) is the neglect to take care of something that one should do. It is translated to apathetic listlessness; depression without joy. It is similar to melancholy, although acedia describes the behaviour, while melancholy suggests the emotion producing it. In early Christian thought, the lack of joy was regarded as a wilful refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world God created; by contrast, apathy was considered a refusal to help others in time of need.
    When Thomas Aquinas described acedia in his interpretation of the list, he described it as an uneasiness of the mind, being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing acedia as the failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul; to him it was the middle sin, the only one characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love.

    Despair

    Despair (Latin, Tristitia) In this context, Despair is the precipitating cause of suicide. Feelings of hopelessness, despondency, pessimism and impending doom, were not the same as the condition, melancholy. "If the man be bereft, give him solace. If he be in physical torment, give him medicine. If he be to the desire of death, give him hope. Reason, encouragement, and faith bring hope, therefore, use them liberally." (Francis of Assisi). Since sadness often results in acedia, Pope Gregory's revision of the list subsumed Despair into Acedia.

    Wrath

    Wrath (Latin, ira), also known as anger or "rage", may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. Anger, in its purest form, presents with self-destructiveness, violence, and hate that may provoke feuds that can go on for centuries. Anger may persist long after the person who did another a grievous wrong is dead. Feelings of anger can manifest in different ways, including impatience, revenge, and vigilantism.
    Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self-interest (although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy, closely related to the sin of envy). Dante described vengeance as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". In its original form, the sin of wrath also encompassed anger pointed internally rather than externally. Thus suicide was deemed as the ultimate, albeit tragic, expression of wrath directed inwardly, a final rejection of God's gifts.

    Envy

    Like greed, Envy (Latin, invidia) may be characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons:
    • First, greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas envy may apply more generally.
    • Second, those who commit the sin of envy resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it.
    Dante defined this as "a desire to deprive other men of theirs." Envy can be directly related to the Ten Commandments, specifically "Neither shall you desire... anything that belongs to your neighbour". In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought low. Aquinas described envy as "sorrow for another's good".[13]

    Pride

    In almost every list Pride (Latin, superbia), or hubris, is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and the source of the others. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbour." In Jacob Bidermann's medieval miracle play, Cenodoxus, pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation of the titulary famed Parisian doctor. In perhaps the best-known example, the story of Lucifer, pride (his desire to compete with God) was what caused his fall from Heaven, and his resultant transformation into Satan. In Dante's Divine Comedy, the penitents were forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs to induce feelings of humility.

    Vainglory

    Vainglory (Latin, vanagloria) is unjustified boasting. Pope Gregory viewed it as a form of pride, so he folded vainglory into pride for his listing of sins.
    The Latin term gloria roughly means boasting, although its English cognate - glory - has come to have an exclusively positive meaning; historically, vain roughly meant futile, but by the 14th century had come to have the strong narcissistic undertones, of irrelevant accuracy, that it retains today.[14] As a result of these semantic changes, vainglory has become a rarely used word in itself, and is now commonly interpreted as referring to vanity (in its modern narcissistic sense).

    Thursday, November 4, 2010

    Reading versus studying the AA Big Book

          I have often thought of myself as a smart man, quite brilliant at one point before sobriety; hopefully a bit humbler now. Without higher education, in just a couple of years I was playing jazz with the best of them in LA. After being discouraged by the music scene in LA went back to Silicon Valley where I now enjoy pestering by any number of head hunters lining up to put me in a myriad of high paying positions as a Systems Engineer. The truth is though, with all my so called intelligence in the booze area I was quite stupid to put it mildly. In the getting along with fellow human beings and attaining some humility department I fell short as well. I had read the Big Book 3 times and attended many hundreds of AA meetings for 7 years before I became a student of the Big Book. I am well over 17 years sober now. I found out something really humbling through careful study of the Alcoholics Anonymous book and that was this. That with all my brilliance and superior intellect I really hadn’t comprehended all the main points made in the first 164 pages.

        I actually was pushed into studying it by my third sponsor who’s first book at age 34 was the Big Book. (he was illiterate before sobriety) I found out by the help of more studious and patient men than I, ( Joe and Charlie to be exact) that the first 164 pages of the big book are a text and meant to be carefully studied. The preface of the book illustrates this point.

    A mistake in thinking I made was to classify myself unique, a cut above, an exception. I found that this trait is often shared by many an alcoholic. This feeling of being alone but superior than the rest and at the same time a victim of life. Over the years I have found something out about myself as well. That is that even with all the Big Book studying I had done it’s always good to refer back to it as my disease will often push back those good points and I’ll find myself getting out of sync with the principals. Refering back often keeps me on track. Writing blogs about it helps too.

    Tuesday, November 2, 2010

    Trying to control drinking as an alcoholic; the day may never arrive.


    I must say that something I found out was that by virtue of being alcoholic I could never regain control of my drinking. If you are really alcoholic you may find that is the case for you. I’m going to paste in and excerpt from the AA Big Book, all of which I have taken to heart and look to as more or less Gospel for alcoholics. Here is Alcoholics Anonymous take on an alcoholics' attempt to control drinking.

    quote:
    We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
    We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing a making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.
    Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!


    Readers, I certainly hope you may control your drinking, but if you are really alcoholic that day may never arrive.

    You may not like what I’m about to say, but here it goes. If you are really alcoholic and your therapist is telling you he feels you “have it under control” he is not at all well informed about alcoholism and doing you a great disservice. Alcoholics by virtue of being alcoholic will never ever regain control of alcohol with the exception of nothing short of a major miracle. Not even AA promises control of drinking to alcoholics, only abstinence through spiritual means.

    Sunday, September 19, 2010

    Quotes from the film "My Name is Bill W."

    Here's one of my favorite scenes from the film "My Name is Bill W." James Woods gives a stellar performance as Bill W. A must see for any AA IMHO.

    --Bill W. looking out the window, explaining to Lois, why he keeps drinking

    I look out the window and watch all the normal people walking by. It's funny I don't think I've ever felt really normal all my life. I feel different somehow, like I don't quite measure up. Ever since I can remember I've had this feeling deep down in my gut -- scared. I see people laughing, at ease with each other. I'm on the outside looking in - afraid that maybe I won't be accepted.

    And then overseas I found that a drink, a few drinks makes me feel comfortable, like I always want to feel. It gives me courage to be with people, do things....to dream.

    The money, the success, the respect it was all good for awhile, but it never seems enough. I always want doubles of everything, to make me feel alive, worthwhile inside. And then it all began to slip away. I feel cheated, angry, always so full of fear, so I drink, more and it makes it ok for awhile. I convince myself that things will turn around tomorrow, soon, that I'll make it all up to you. But it only gets worse. I keep promising you, others, myself, I'm going on the wagon and I think I mean it. But the guilt and the depression, I can't look in the mirror or at you. Especially you. I've stopped believing in everything, people, God, myself.
    I know it sounds insane Lois, but in spite of all this, what I want more than anything else, is another drink.

    A Higher Power for atheists.

    Fortunately none of the steps demands we have any kind of concept of a higher power so the hoop you have to jump through is a lot wider than you might think.

    I was atheist, but I wasn’t stupid. The truth is I was very desperate to beat my alcoholism.  In meetings I heard many AA’s (some with some horrifying stories) share about how they, at first, didn’t have any notion of a God or Higher Power, took the steps and found a small but growing relationship with a Power out there that was relieving their alcoholism. Until AA I was convinced there was no God and laughed at church goers. In desperation I took steps two and three with a very limited, if any, understanding of God. About the only thing I actually knew about God was that something was helping other AA's in the meetings who had done the steps. So I just went with that. As it turns out, that was all that was needed. Steps 2 and 3 don't demand we know what a Higher Power looks like, feels like or sounds like. The Big Book says a willingness to believe is enough to make a beginning. I found willingness and it was enough to make a beginning for me too.

    So with that in mind I did the rest of the steps and somewhere into steps 6 and 7 I started feeling some Power helping me. I found it was a lot easier than I first thought. I "faked it before I made it" so to speak. I just went along with what I was told. What else could I do? Reject what seemed to be the only game in town at beating alcoholism? Foolish not to at least try, especially for a hopeless alcoholic like me. What happened? 27 years plus of sobriety and happiness. I came to scoff at first but then remained to pray.

    Saturday, September 18, 2010

    Blogging, AA and recovery.

    I have been commenting on a blog by a man who introduces himself as an alcoholic. He believes he is alcoholic and had accosted me for writing on his blog and trying to give him some helpful advice. It's worth repeating some of my replies as I think I've made some good solid points straight from the Big Book of AA.

    I just had to write even if you didn't post my last "verbal diarrhea". It takes an alcoholic to think that some guy writing about AA and alcoholism on his blog is trying to control him. Damn it man I'm trying to help you! I believe you are mistaking articulate and informed writing for an inflamed ego. I'll admit I enjoy reading your stories and long for the retirement lifestyle. Promise if you meet me you won't take a swing at me. Although I think you might thank me in a couple of years for being straight and to the point.

    I'll tell you, from your replies if I am not on your resentment list I should be. Dare I suggest Nid and the long parade of women who you claim have drove you to drink and harmed you be there too. ~Many alcoholics love to be victims.

    It's a standard trait. Goes something like this. "I was just standing there and she came in a screwed up my entire life" "Really mate, I was a saint through the whole thing." I've been a great guy all the while. The world just does it to me every time! How many times I have heard alkys talk this way. Many of us think we are so innocent and the rest of the world just has it out for us. Well, it's all self deception and bad perception as we've created every single problem in our lives. A tough pill to swallow but a necessary one for alcoholics wishing to really work the program of AA. Now, I am not making this up. Look in the book around page 62 and 63.

    It was a tough pill to swallow for your's truly. "Our problems are of our own making and they arise out of ourselves". Driven by a hundred forms of fear we make decisions based on self that put us in positions to be hurt. For a long time I just couldn't get that. Then when I did a fourth step i found out that in every single one of the cases where I felt I was wronged. I WAS THE ONE WHO MADE A DECISION THAT PUT ME IN THE CIRCUMSTANCE TO GET WRONGED. A huge revelation for me.

    I must say your comments to wallflower were admirable. I do not wish you doom and gloom. I wish you sobriety and above all peace and serenity. These things come at a price though, humility, willingness and open mindedness toward a higher power.

    Post or don't post, I hope you read. Be well my friend.

    Miracles happen - s&^*%t get's made

    Friday, September 17, 2010

    What an alcoholic is and is not.

    (This is a reply to a casual blogger concerning his drinking and how he stopped after a good strong talking to by friends. He was giving advice to an alcoholic whose blog I have followed)

    People who can stop drinking on their own accord through will power are by definition NOT ALCOHOLICS. Real alcoholics by virtue of being alcoholic cannot stop through use of self will. They cannot just one day say to themselves, "I guess it's gone to far I'm going to stop." and then moderate or stop for good.

    Heavy drinkers CAN stop by themselves through self will. If you can stay stopped or are able to have the occasional drink after a good talking to by some friends then by definition you are not alcoholic. You can control your drinking. Alcoholics cannot.

    Here's an example of a heavy drinker ( not alcoholic ) that I knew from my personal life.
    I had grandfather who drank every day. He probably had four or five a day and a few more than that on the weekends. We'd see him fairly stewed most times the family would visit. When the doctor told him that his health was failing due to his drinking he stopped the next day. From then on, till the day of his death, he only had the rare celebratory glass of champagne at a wedding or other suitable occasion. He was not alcoholic.

    So I hope this helps to understand what alcoholism is and what it is not. Wait, there's more!

    On top of that, alcoholics have what is referred to in AA literature as a "phenomenon of craving" which happens after they have the 1st drink. This information is straight from the doctors opinion at the beginning of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Ask any real alcoholic. It's a certainty that even after just one drink they develop a craving which drives them to keep on drinking. For alcoholics, it's very rare they can have just a couple of drinks and leave it alone. It's almost always all or nothing. The "phenomenon of craving" is an allergy of the body (from AA text). In other words alcoholics have a different reaction to alcohol then non alcoholics. Non alcoholics can have a few drinks and leave it alone. Nothing happens, life goes on. Real alcoholics have a couple drinks then keep on drinking to inebriation.

    A real alcoholic will visit the doctor for a checkup and the doctor might give him news like this; "Sir, if you keep on drinking you'll die in less than a year from liver failure." An alcoholic, even with this dire news in hand might stop for a few days, or maybe even a few weeks, but will eventually drink again, and not just in moderation, but back to usual amounts.

    Staying sober without God. Some might die trying..

    I was homeless for awhile, I slept in my car many days back in fall of 1992 and lost two jobs in one weekend at a low point. I wanted to stop, tried but could not. I failed on my own 20+ times in 3 years. I went to meetings but that wasn't enough.

    My life was literally in the gutter for awhile. The first right thing I did for myself was ask for help in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

    It's the alcoholic ego which almost always gets alcoholics in trouble for they seem to have a yearning to want to "look good" and many lack the humility to admit they don't have all the answers, especially when it comes to their drinking. Many alcoholics first balk at the steps and spiritual ideas in AA. Those desperate enough to try and find the humility to go at it without question experience miracles. That was my experience. Once I gave up trying to do it my way and did it AA's way (working the steps) I stayed sober and have a great life now.

    I do not have a personal agenda to see anyone fail in trying to beat the drinking game. More power to you if you can quit for good or moderate with out taking the steps or AA. Although if you be a real alcoholic that happy day may not arrive as, to my knowledge there are no other good or successful alternatives.

    I am pretty certain what many mistake for success in beating alcoholism without some form of spirituality are the stories of heavy drinkers putting it down or moderating given sufficient reason. Alcoholics, by AA's definition of the illness, completely lack this ability. AA found that real alcoholics lack control and cannot moderate or stay sober happily for any significant amount of time on self will. Heavy drinkers can.

    I have seen people in meetings who have not latched onto a higher power in AA. They do not really try AA. They use the fellowship as a sober social club and don't work the 12 steps. All through AA literature it makes clear seeking a power greater than yourself to solve alcoholism is what the program is all about. Most alcoholics I've known who haven't sought a higher power in AA (through continual practice of the steps and putting them into their lives, are not very happy and some have unfortunate, very tragic endings.

    Case in point, I went to many AA meetings in Los Angeles and quite a few of them in my opinion seemed to be attended by people who could simply "put the plug in the jug" and stay sober just through the fellowship. They seemed to have made AA there sober Elks Club or maybe more fitting Hollywood, the drunk squad extension of the Screen Actors Guild. I heard tragic stories of people who were not quite as alcoholic as I, and very lucky, stay sober for 10 years or more and then drink again when a calamity occured which was too much to take. One couple I became familiar with were a supreme example. The husband was sober 12 years and killed himself, this man was a regular attendee of AA. The wife, also an attendee herself then drank again over it. When I went to a few of the meetings they were going to and heard what was being said there I knew what the problem was. Hardly anyone was talking about working the program of AA, they were busy using the meeting as a dumping ground for "what was going on with them". It just seemed more like a therapy session, not Alcoholics Anonymous. Unfortunately the reason many modern day AA groups fail to produce any respectable success rate is that they are too diluted with non-AA program ideas. These ideas come in from therapy sessions and treatment centers which charge exorbitant fees to embellish the AA program or make it unique to there business so they can charge for their services. It's a tragic reality of life. I hope many do not pay the ultimate price for it.

    The program is simple, it's in the first 164 pages of the Big Book of AA. Once I became humble enough to take a look and really study it I found out how simple it was. But some of it is not easy. There is a price to pay. Some work has to be done. But once I really tried my new life began. That's been my experience. It works if you work it. I found out the hard way. But there is hope -- in doing the 12 steps.

    Bring Thehope

    Thursday, September 16, 2010

    Advice for the newcomer.

    Complete abstinence from alcohol must be achieved if most alcoholics are to live long. Any real alcoholic abstaining will eventually drink if the alcoholism is not thoroughly treated. Honest doctors will be the first to admit they have no successful treatment for alcoholism. This is because real alcoholics may have a disease which only a power greater than themselves can conquer. Most all people who follow the program of AA (which means working the steps, not just going to meetings) achieve what AA calls a "spiritual awakening". They get a  connection with a Higher Power or "God" through the action of taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. When members of AA continue to put the 12 steps in their lives they get a change in personality brought on by a spiritual awakening sufficient to relieve them of their alcoholism. This is the good news of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous".

    I highly recommend getting to it and taking the steps for anyone looking to recover from alcoholism or addiction. It can even be done by yourself if a suitably motivated AA sponsor in your neighbourhood cannot be found. One only really needs another person for the 5th step and 12th steps.

    Some may say "I've been going to lot's of meetings isn't that enough?" Well ask any real alcoholic if just going to meetings is enough. Real alcoholics can't stay sober just on meetings. I know this from personal experience. The Big Book says "That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism". For people reading this who have continued to drink or drank again even while going to lots of meetings, let me ask, how has going to lot’s of meetings worked for you in the past?

    Going to meetings is great, but will not give the desired recovery unless intensive 12 step work is done too. All AA literature speaks to this fact. If  you are a real alcoholic (like the AA book describes) I hope you take my advice.

    Something my sponsor told me once. If you keep doing what your doing, you’ll keep getting what you get. Many alcoholics pay the ultimate price finding this out too late.

    Wednesday, September 15, 2010

    Untreated alcoholism and the alcoholic

    One of the strange things about alcoholism is that the way alcoholics go about treating it is to drink. They self medicate. Alcohol is the “medicine” for the alcoholic. When the medicine no longer works and lives start falling apart many of us attempt to abstain. In these usually short periods of abstinence we then suffer from untreated alcoholism and it's symptoms. Symptoms like depression, anxiety, anger, feelings of impending doom, restlessness and discontent to name a few. Myself, I couldn't hold on for more than a couple of months, usually less. All the feelings would mount up and inevitably the time would come when it was all to much too take and I would again seek relief in the bottle. Sometimes it was months, sometimes just weeks, but I'd always go back to the relief I knew - alcohol. So, I'd drink in an attempt to feel better but again I'd get myself into some kind of unwanted trouble. At that point after every binge was regret. I would do something or be unable to do something that would cause me problems. Almost every drunk ended badly. I had torn my life up. Alcohol no longer worked. Every drink would lead to a drunk and every drunk meant trouble. I couldn't even safely have one drink. I knew I couldn't drink anymore but at the same time couldn't quit. So, the question became what to do to treat my alcoholism now that I couldn't use alcohol to treat it. I didn't want to drink again because it caused me nothing but problems. What could I do to stop? How could I recover?

    The answer myself and many have found is the 12 step program of AA. Alcoholics Anonymous is a spiritual program which has successfully treated alcoholism for over 75 years. Practicing the 12 step program of AA with support from good solid program based meetings starts the alcoholic on a wonderful journey to a brand new way of life. AA's not only get freedom from alcohol but spirituality, peace and serenity - a new way to live. A way of life without alcohol.

    In my early attempts to stay sober I abstained from alcoholism many times, once for as long as 6 months. During those times I never tried the steps, in other words, I didn't treat my problem with the program of AA. If I was lucky and did not drink for awhile, I'd begin to suffer from untreated alcoholism. Symptoms like irritability, depression, anxiety, restlessness, sleeplessness always surfaced. So, when it came to the point where things were unbearable I inevitably drank. It was only until, in desperation, I asked for help and found a wonderful sponsor who did not sugar coat the program or tell me to take it easy and work a step a month. He instructed me to get into action immediately and work the steps as soon as possible. With real alcoholics like me to drink is to die. I have never found any where in the literature that gives instruction to "take your time" with the steps. I have found quite the opposite in fact. For example between the 3rd and 4th step in the book they use the phrase, " next we launched out on a vigorous course of action". Through reading AA history I found that most early AA's did all the steps within weeks. I suspect that's why in those days AA had a 75% success rate; because new members where urged to take the steps soon if they wanted relief, abstinence and recovery.


    Here is a quote from one of my favorite AA speakers:

    I have never seen anyone get into trouble from working the steps too soon but I have seen many people suffer, drink or die from working them too late or not at all.
                                                                          Paul M. Illinois